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Love this song for some strange reason. Scarlet Letter by Adestria ft. Scott Barnes (:
The struggles of the insecure:
3. Self Harm. If you don’t do it, you don’t understand. Simple as that. I didn’t understand once. I stood in the shoes of someone who thought it was disgusting and sad, and I told myself I’d never do something so ridiculous. We all have that potential to fall though, and I certainly did. It starts experimentally, one cut, two, maybe a few like cat scratches. Unless you’re really bad and you start out with the really deep cuts, but that’s rare. You might tell yourself you’ll never do it again, but you think about it more once you’ve done it. Eventually, you think to yourself “Just one more time.” and you do it again, but that one leads to many. My first relapse let me with 36 cuts of varying size and deepness. My thigh was like a jigsaw puzzle, and my bath tub looked like a crime scene. You start to notice triggers, mine is whenever I’m in the shower, because that’s where I usually cut. Some people see pictures of self harm and it triggers them, some people think of things or hear things or see things that trigger them, everyone has their own triggers. It very quickly turns from experiment to fascination. Some people like to see the cuts, like that feeling as they cut their own flesh, but if you’re like me, you just like to watch yourself bleed. The more you bleed, the better. Experiment to fascination, then quickly fascination gives way to addiction. You don’t even have to see triggers, you just have that urge to cut. It sits in the back of your mind constantly, almost begging you to relapse. You can try so hard, but in an instant it can all come crashing down again. And every time you see those scars, you trace them lightly with a bitter smile and tell yourself how much better you expected to be by now. #self harm #depression #mental disorders #struggles of the insecure #help #anger #social anxiety #anxiety #love #cutting #triggers #trigger #razors #self injury #borderline personality disorder
I haven’t been so nervous and awkward about something so trivial since 6th grade.
But today, kissing you in the hall seemed like the scariest thing I was ever going to do. We talked about it all night, we had everything all planned out (which is a little strange, but you knew I didn’t want people to see and start running their mouthes after everything with Shawn). We also came to the conclusion it would be the first time we ever really talked in person, and we’d be kissing each other so that’s not exactly talking but I guess it’s close enough. I was actually kinda nervous….I haven’t been nervous about a kiss since my first kiss in 6th grade. Actually going out into the hall and kissing you was another story completely. It was cute, seeing you act so nervous. I love when guys get all shy like that, it’s strangely endearing. And your smile made me happy (: thank you.
period:
WAKE UP ASSHOLE, YOU GOT CRAMPS.
period: How bout an entire chocolate cake for breakfast? period: How's that back pain? Feeling better? Let's fix that. period: Find a cookie as big as a house and eat it. period: See a male specimen of any kind. Instantly horny. period: Where's your Tic Tac box filled with ibuprofen? period: Got things to do? Don't care. Sleep. period: See a female specimen of any kind. Instantly horny. period: For dinner you're eating an entire bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. period: Breeze blows by. Instantly horny. period: You didn't like those brand new underwear right? period: Yell at a puppy. period: Close eyes and wait for repeat tomorrow.
→ BlueEyedBrunette: I have always wanted to go on a traditional date. Where my date picks...
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I'm in love with fantasy. I have no real perception of the lines between reality and dreams. I like to smile, but it doesn't happen as often as I'd like. I'm a odd bird. You're beautiful. home ask me submit archive themes |